Open Doors

During the Homily in the Mass for the beginning of the pontificate, Pope John Paul II said..."Do not be afraid! Open, in deed, open wide the doors to Christ! Open to his saving power... " It is a phrase that has stayed with me strongly since 2005 when it was the theme to the ARC Renewal Communities annual conference. 2005 was a faith turning point for me. Not exactly a road to Damascus experience but definitely a 'aha' moment. A moment where I truly realised that 'do not be afraid' and 'open wide the doors to Christ' the doors of my life, the door of my heart, the doors of my spirituality, meant exactly that. The experience is often called a 'head-to-heart drop' when something that you knew intellectually becomes real in a very personal way.

On Tuesday the phrase sprang to mind again but in relation to a totally different, if related topic. The children were at an art class, the shopping was complete and there was still an hour and a quarter before they needed picking up. On my way out of Aldi I spotted a sign for a Catholic Church and thought that's what I would like to do. Sit in the quiet of a church building, in the presence of God and just be for a while in the middle of my busy day. I found the church easily, it was modern, circular with a central altar a bit like the cathedral in Liverpool. It looked beautiful, peaceful and cold and dark. I could only see this from the outside of course BECAUSE THE DOORS WERE LOCKED.

I took care to check every church I drove past on the way back to pick the kids up.

They were all locked, every denomination.

I could have knocked on the pesbytry door, if tehre was someone there they may have let me in but I chose not. I felt intimidated and shy. I am not shy and very comfotable both in teh comapny of priests and in a religious setting

In the end I sat in the car, in the car park outside art and prayed the rosary. And as I prayed I contemplated. We all know the practical reasons why churches are locked, theft, vandalism, the difficulties of heating and maintenance. However country churches manage somehow to leave churches unlocked for visitors to admire the art and architecture and maybe say a quick prayer or two. One may argue that there are fewer challenges in rural areas. But there is a real need here. I cannot be the only person in the whole of England who would like a place where I could pop in to pray when I have a minute.

Maybe we need a little imagination and rather than just accepting that our churches must be closed to keep them sacred we need to come up with alternative solutions that allow us to keep our holy places holy but still keep them accessible. A few ideas: most presbyteries are large and underutilised, could a room be set aside during office hours that is open and available for the public to come a pray, a comfortable peaceful, prayerful room with comfortable chairs,  a prayerful focus, some bibles and hymn books and some soft lighting. Does the church have a side chapel that could be made accessible while keeping the rest of the church closed? Could we have a pastoral area centre where there is a room always open for prayer? Could a parishioner open up a room in their home for prayer, or an annex or garage that is no longer used that people could have access to without impinging on the privacy of the householder.

If our churches, our thin places, our sacred and holy places are closed even to those who worship there, unless they have a prior appointment, what hope have we of showing the all consuming all embracing love of Jesus. If I who am a regular church goer and a lover of Jesus feel intimidated knocking on a priests door to ask for access, how much more difficult will it be for someone who is scared and vulnerable and in desperate need of God? We are judged by our welcome and our openness, we need to get our churches open again!!

2011/2012

For all of us it is a time of looking back and assessing where we are, where we have been, where we want to be. As I blogged back in September 2011 has been a time of upheaval and change through which I have grown and changed. At the beginning of 2011 I had a Grandma, a dog, three children living at home, a thriving worship band/music group called 'The Leap of faith', a busy home education life and absolutely no tie to myself.

In the course of 2011, once child has flown to build her own life at uni, the dog had to be put down, My Grandma passed away, the worship band is now a duo that has no church to play in. I still however have a very busy home ed life and I have managed to carve out some time for myself. 2011 has brought healing, deeper friendships and relationships, lots of things made (some of which I have managed to post on the blog). We now have a straw bale office in the back garden which is water tight (if not yet finished). I have had a song published at heartnotes ministries which is opening up some exciting possibilities for the year to come.

So what are the goals for this year?

Well I am 38 in March and I always promised myself I would get fit before I was 40, so I have begun to prioritise exercise. I also am finding it difficult to get out of bed and pray so I am committing to get to Mass during the week more often to give God some time. I am going to be able to read music by next new year.

Most importantly however I am going to practise mindfulness. For those who don't know mindfulness is a technique used by most of the worlds major religions. I came across it through the mystics of the catholic church all of whom practise mindfulness of one kind or another and from the book 'The naked now' by Richard Rohr (who is awesome and needs to be read by everybody. Most often however it is associated with Buddhism and essentially means living in the present moment, fully aware of what you are doing. Most of us live in the past or the future, bothering over past mistakes however small, or planning for a future we may never have.

To live in the present moment is extremely difficult and something I can only hope to begin to work towards. Just the other day I had gone to the shops and spent the whole trip bothering about how things were at home. My mundane trip to the bank could have been transformed into a different experience, I might have noticed the weather, a flower, an old friend, someone who needed a little help, something might have given me pause for thought but I missed all of those opportunities because I was bothering about what I could neither change nor control at that particular moment.

So hopefully a little less of that and some more... well I wonder...