Growing...and Growing

Eighteen years ago this month I found out I was going to be a mum. I guess I experienced all the usual emotions which are too numerous and too confused to ever separate out into a coherent narrative, so I will not try. However I do remember that most of these emotions were to do with the immediate; how will I manage? What will it be like? How do you change a nappy? What exactly does a baby do? Is giving birth even possible? Will I ever stop being sick? Now the answers to some of these questions were easy I was an oldest child and had lots of cousins so I knew the mechanics of nappy changing and bathing - the responsibility though, I'm not sure I have ever got used to that. Despite my concerns being for the baby's immediate needs, I always knew I was heading in this direction, to the other end of the journey; to the part where they are all grown up. Almost to the day that I found out I was pregnant, my now not so baby girl went to the ball. The Sports star set out on a sunny May evening with her +1 in tow looking like she had just stepped off a catwalk or out of an expensive salon.

I expected to be a bit tearful or at least emotional in someway. What I actually felt was completly comfortable. My baby girl is ready to fly and I am supreemly confident that she is ready to take whatever life can throw at her. The first thing it will throw at her of course is A levels which are upon us now, followed hot on the heels by her first holiday abroad that she has bought paid and signed up for herself, with her own name on the dotted line, followed by uni and semi leaving home etc. etc. So lots to do/cope with/muse over in the coming months. I wonder will I be so calm when she walks out the door to go to uni in            a couple of months time? Will it take a few weeks for the greif which I am sure is coming to kick in? Or will it be immediate as I walk out the door and leave her in an unfamiliar place? Watch this space!!



As if this wasn't enough the youngest babe has reached double figures. Yes our littlest offspring is 10.

and it is not all that long since the Music man entered his teenage years. So we are a changing family at the moment. Families are always changing of course but sometimes those changes are big and obvious to everyone, which is where we are this year.

All these growing children has left my arms a little empty and my head with not so much to do. I find myself musing over what I would like to do with myself when this Home ed adventure is over. Then I have a day like today where I was trying to pull together a history project while simultaneously making sure it was their work and not mine, writing shopping lists, doing housework and trying not to let my hand stray towards picking up my current book (more on that later in the week), and a day like tommorrow where I will be lucky to get any tea! So maybe my mind is a few months/years ahead of what is practical. Perhaps a blog, a few projects and the odd bored evening are enough for now.